All Is Fairest
by TheWhimsy
Summary: What would have happened if Aza couldn't forget Ijori's betrayal. Alternate ending to Fairest.


Note: This is in the Ella Enchanted area because it goes along with that series, though it is a different novel.

Note 2: Though I ADORE the book Fairest, I'm not sure that I agreed with Aza when she took Ijori back, so this idea sprang into my head.

Note 3: All characters belong to Gail Carson Levine; the alternate ending/storyline belongs to me.

All Is Fairest

By: TheWhimsy

My mind raced. Ijori here! Ijori! My heart thudded with longing. Ijori! My heart beat faster in anger. IJORI! Tears welled up in my eyes but I did not let them fall. Yes, I knew it was Ijori that saved my life, forcing the apple out of my throat, but that did not relieve me of the hurt and pain I felt from his betrayal. I heard the scrabble of claws on the cave floors and quickly dried my eyes. Master zhaM had most likely fetched Ijori and Oochoo now that I was awake and was feeling slightly stronger from my meal of broth. I inhaled deeply, preparing myself for what I knew that I must do.

Oochoo rushed onto the bed, covering my face with doggy kisses, and my hands also when I tried to defend myself against her attacks of doggy love. I hardly heard Ijori call her off, my mind too busy thinking of what I would say. zhaM replied for me, casting me a questioning glance before whisking himself away to fetch me more food, and leave me and Ijori in privacy.

Ijori went to embrace me, but stopped when I pushed myself away, back almost touching the stone wall behind my bed. The hurt was clear on his face, and it pained me momentarily. I wanted him . . . I loved him . . . but he had betrayed me when I needed him most. He left me in the hands of the guards, and of Ivi. "We need to talk Prince Ijori." Again, the pain flashed across his face as I used his title, but he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand momentarily reaching out, as if to grasp mine. I moved my hands to my lap and folded them together. He opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him. "Your highness . . . I thank you from the bottom of my heart for rescuing me when I needed it most. I am in your debt." His frown deepened, but I continued, detailing the story of Skulni and how he has used the mirror and the potion to control Ivi. I told him it was broken now, but that there might still be some danger, for Ivi herself, and for the guard Uju. My voice was raspy by the end of the story, and I had to swallow a few times before I could say what had to be said next. "My highness, it would be best for you to return to the castle before more mischief falls. I am safe here with the gnomes, and quite comfortable at that. I will remain here until the king awakens, and return only long enough to clear my name."

"Aza! How can you say that? How can you be so cold to me? I mourned for you, grieved over your death, twice! And now you would send me away from you?" His voice sounded strangled, as if he was holding back tears.

Oh! How I wanted to rush into his arms, to comfort him, to assure him that I still loved him! But I knew that truly, he did not love me. He had been ready to believe I was part ogre, that I had manipulated him and everyone else around me for personal gain, all this while knowing Queen Ivi's true nature.

I turned my head away so that I would not cry. I wanted to remain strong, resolved, so that I did not make the mistake I was in such danger of making. Before I could turn away though, Ijori grabbed my chin and forced me to face him, his face so close I see every little, beautiful, detail of it.

"Aza . . . do you truly want me to leave?"

My eyes, my only beautiful feature, filled with tears. I lifted up my large hands to cover my pudgy round face, sniffling through my thick fingers. Ijori wrapped his arms around me, strong, comforting, and even loving. I longed to linger there, to apologize and beg him to forgive me, to wed me, to love me. I pulled away instead.

"Aza, please tell me what is wrong!"

Through my tears I managed to get the words out. "You do not love me Ijori that is what the matter is! You were as ready as everyone to believe that I was part ogre; a monster who wanted nothing but to manipulate the people around her for her own selfish desires! The moment I needed you the most, you left me! You said you loved me, yet your loyalty failed the first test!"

Hot, angry tears splashed down my cheeks. My face would be mottled, but I was too angry to care. I knew that by the end of my speech I was shouting at him, but the feelings poured out of me, and I had no control.

"Oh, Aza . . . Aza, my sweet . . . I would do anything to prove to you that I love you. I know it was never you at fault, please, my darling, forgive me. Please, oh Aza I need you."

Ijori was on his knees on the cold stone floor, his hands had grabbed mine and he held them tightly, almost so tight it hurt. Oochoo whined from the corner, his tail no longer wagging, his friendly face sad, head hanging.

I felt my heart grow as cold as my gaze as I met his eyes. "In time I may come to forgive you, but never can I consent to accept your love again. I know that I may never have another chance at love, after all, who would love a beast like me? I will not, however, consent to a love that is as unreal as the beauty that the potion gave me."

His hands let go of mine and dropped to his sides. His head hang, and two tears fell onto the floor. Part of me wanted to kiss those tears away from his face, the other part of wanted to push him away from me forever.

He spoke, softly. ". . . Aza . . . "

He looked up at me, as if memorizing my face, and then quicker than the kings champion Centaur, he rushed out of my bed chambers, Oochoo scrabbling on the stone floor behind me. Later I learned that he had run all the way through gnome caverns to the exit where he made no time to even saddle his horse before leaving, going back to the castle.

I sighed deeply, wondering if I had done the right thing. His eyes in that last fleeting second had looked almost as if someone dead possessed them. Had I been wrong? Did Ijori truly love me? I sobbed once more, praying silently to whoever could hear me that I had done right.

The king awoke shortly thereafter. After the stories had been relayed to him, I was sent for to give my own testimony, for apparently Ijori had told the King that I still lived and wished to clear my name. I dressed in one of my new gowns, a plainer one, but a beautiful one. The cut was simple, but it flattered every part of me, narrowing my waist, slimming my hips, making my broad shoulders look more graceful, and letting a tasteful amount of bosom peep through a trim of lace on the collar. I placed my hair in a net that was laced with pearls, simple, but elegant. I had prepared myself in my old room at the castle, where I was being held under house arrest until the time appointed.

A guard knocked, and I glanced at myself in the mirror. Not beautiful. But I would do. I stood tall, walking more proudly than I felt, ignoring the glances and whispers that followed me as I made my way to the king's chambers. The guard opened the door to the king's rooms for me, and I walked in, curtsying as I approached the chair where the king sat. Ivi was not there. She had been sent into the village with her new lady-in-waiting, a plain girl, one that had no chance of outshining her. I cast a glance about the room and my eyes met with . . . Ijori! I looked quickly away, though I felt his gaze linger on me.

"Lady Aza, I called you here hoping that you would enlighten me as to the goings-on while I was indisposed. Please, let us hear your story."

I started at the very beginning, and it took many an hour before I was finished. Silence rang throughout the room as the king pondered, eyes closed, hand on his head as if it hurt him to think so deeply. After days, though it was in reality only a few minutes, he replied softly, "I believe you Maid Aza. I heard many of the same things when Ivi spoke to me while I slept. I can not deny the truth. Maid Aza, you are cleared of all charges. You may go."

I left the room feeling lighter than I had in months. I was cleared! I felt as if I could fly. Ijori followed me, though I pretended that I did not hear his footsteps behind mine.

"Aza! Wait!"

I stopped and turned, facing Ijori, and could not help smiling. He smiled, shakily, but I could see the hope flaring behind his eyes that I had forgiven him and that perhaps I also loved him again.

"Aza, where will go now?"

"Where Your Majesty? Why, home to the Featherbed most likely. I am afraid I am rather indebted to Master zhaM for all his courtesy and I would not feel right returning there to live off his kindness once more."

His smile faltered. I had not called him Ijori, and my tone was polite, and distant.

"I was hoping you would stay here, with me."

"Here? With you? You forget Your Highness; I am no longer a lady."

Ijori, unable to help himself, grabbed my hands, stroking them with his thumbs. He knelt down on one leg, and looked up at me, eyes hopeful.

"You could be more than that Aza. Please, Aza, I know you love me, will you not consent to marry me?"

Marry? _Marry?!_

My eyes widened in shock. His eyes glistened in hope as his smile spread further.

I took my hands from him.

"Stand up Ijori."

He stood, confused, and reached for my hands again. I moved them away.

"No Ijori. I cannot live here. I cannot marry you. You need a nice, quiet wife. One who has not caused so much trouble. A wife that you truly love, and who can truly love you."

"I DO love you Aza! How can I make you understand?! I want no other but you!"

Tears formed in his eyes as desperation stole into his voice.

"I love you too Ijori."

A tear trickled down my cheek.

"Then marry me!"

He pressed his lips against mine, his arm circling my waist, pulling me closer.

I struggled free.

"No Ijori, no. There is too much hurt between us. You betrayed me, and though I have forgiven you, I can never forget that. Good-bye Ijori."

I turned and fled as fast as I could to my room.

Ijori did not follow. My last glimpse of him was of him on his knees, starring up at the ceiling where the songbirds flew, sunlight pouring through the windows bathing him in a halo of light, and tears streaming down his face as if they would never stop.

It was many years later when Ijori finally gave up on making me his wife. I did not know where I found the strength to refuse him, but I did. I did not want to marry the only man to show me affection. I loved him, but I was not desperate enough to give myself over to a man who loved me only in words. Some may say that his saving my life was proof of his love. I am of a different frame of mind. Love is proved by being steadfast, by being loyal, by acceptance, by loving _because_ of and never _in spite_ of. Ijori had proven his true measure the day he looked at me horrified by the fact that he had kissed someone presumed to be part ogre. He proved that his love was not true the day he did not believe my story and defend me in front of those who wished to see me imprisoned because I was different. It was not true love. And even the most wretched deserve trueness.

I never married, though I had other loves. My voice and my talent at illusing became famous, and I traveled throughout the country and Kyrria as well. Areida came with me some of the time, especially if it gave her the chance to see Ella of Frell, her dear friend. The Featherbed prospered magnificently, and my brothers and their offspring continue to run it. Ijori did marry, though none could say that there was joy between him and his wife. It was a marriage of state, for the purpose of continuing the royal line. His wife died giving birth to their first and only child, a boy he named Ajaza. He never married again and retired the throne to his son when Ajaza reached 21. He left the palace then, and no one has seen or heard from him ever since.

My ending may not have been like a fairytale, but for me, this is the happiest ever after.


End file.
